The Infinite Loops: Eden Hall and the Bars of the Multiverse
by Crisis
Summary: Repeating your life over and over again can get boring sometimes, and weird other times. Sometimes, loopers just need a freaking drink, ya know?


Infinite Loops: Eden Hall and the Bars of the Multiverse

* * *

The Infinite Loops of repeating time can be a stressful setting for those souls of mixed fortune known as loopers. For most Anchors, many loops are lonely with no one they know able to remember the repeats. For all loopers, repetitive instances of the baseline can get boring, and variants can get… odd. And sometimes disturbing. In general, the Loops are stressful to those in them.

Sometimes loopers Awake in a bizarre Variant Loop where they were married to someone who was normally a familial relation, they walk in on some of their friends doing things-best-kept-behind-closed-doors, everyone and their mother is out to get them for reasons-never-quite-explained, Dr. Wily interrupts their wedding with a robot invasion, Discord turns one of their painstakingly collected blackmail photo albums into a bushel of kumquats, Slaanesh is... Slaanesh, Ganondorf ushers in an age of darkness, Anakin Skywalker plays the Imperial March at three in the freaking morning, they die... _again_ , or a Bolo tredecuple parks on top of their car (and everyone else's).

In short, loopers often find themselves in need of a drink. Or someone to hear their woes without the possibility of trying to stuff them into a straight-jacket.

Usually both.

Which is where these places come in.

* * *

(Crisis)

Ryu Sasakura smiled serenely to himself as he set about wiping down a glass in Eden Hall. He'd come a long way from his baseline when he'd first founded Eden Hall. He'd learned even more about his chosen profession, been to... not quite every corner of the multiverse, but enough of them. Enough that he could effectively replicate just about any drink that had ever existed anywhere, as well as a few of his own design not found anywhere else but Eden Hall.

Exotic biology had long since ceased to be any barrier to his skills, and after a loop where he'd encountered a massive thousand-tonnes tank called a Bolo in desperate need of a drink, neither was machinery or other inorganic life. If you could drink in any fashion, then Ryu had a cocktail for your troubles. And if you were so inclined, he could give you, in detail, the history of the drink, its ingredients, and the culture or circumstances that had produced its unique recipe.

He was proud of his ability, and the plaque mounted over the back wall (a gift from his Admin) declaring that Eden Hall had the 'Dionysus Seal of Approval' confirmed that he had every right to be proud. Some of the other decorations around the bar portrayed his eclectic experience. Such as the gag '21' sign stating that patrons 'must be this tall (or equivalent biological age) to order alcohol', or the grand piano made from the wood of a tree that had never grown on any version of Earth, or even the giant banner from the Decepticons and the Autobots declaring the place neutral territory. The decorations changed between Loops to suit Ryu's current preferences. And after he'd figured out how to link the space to his subspace pocket (after long Loops experimenting and couple tips from the Doctor recently to streamline the process), the decorations would expand along with the interior whenever more patrons entered than the original space would accommodate.

While he was no fighter like many Anchors, he could hold his own against most places' baseline threats. But in all honesty, he preferred to serve drinks than become involved in fisticuffs. Besides, anyone trashing his place would often quickly face far worse than Ryu himself was capable of.

He'd thought of taking Vacation Loops from this job before. He actually had a few times when it seemed there were no other loopers Awake. But he always kept coming back. Even doing this for eternity didn't dull his enjoyment of the profession.

Being a bartender was his passion. His calling. His privilege.

Though getting to hear stories from across the multiverse on a fairly regular basis was a nice perk.

The door opened, and Ryu smiled politely at the patron entering.

* * *

 **Eden Hall**

Loop: Eden Hall (Bartender)

Proprietor: Ryu Sasakura (Anchor)

Notes: Ryu Sasakura spent many of his early Loops going unnoticed by the more blatant loopers and thus built up a bit of a reputation as a Stealth Looper. Ryu himself generally won't deny that he's looping if asked, but it just happened that few asked him in his early Loops. He still managed to acquire a subspace pocket and set about collecting supplies and learning to create any drink found anywhere in the multiverse. The door to the bar is a bit heavier than most, but still openable by even most nonloopers. Ryu does not discriminate in his service, so while Eden Hall is a favorite watering hole for loopers, nonloopers alike often enjoy a drink here as well.

* * *

(Crisis)

Berry Punch hummed to herself from Big Mac's Bar as she cleaned glasses in her human form. Because as much as she loved being a pony, there were some things that hands were just plain better suited for. It was a new loop, filled with new opportunities, new days, new chances to be with her daughter Ruby, and plenty of weary ponies who could probably use a drink after some recent Loop insanity or other.

Even if they weren't normally ponies.

Plus, she had a few new drink recipes she wanted to show everyone. She really hoped she'd get another loop with Master Ryu (or Shot Glass as his name became in Equestria) again soon. She wanted to show her mentor just how far she'd come in the art of bartending since they'd last met.

* * *

 **Big Mac's Bar**

Loop: Equestria (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Proprietors: Big Macintosh (looper), Berry Punch (looper)

Notes: Equestria is a self-declared Sanctuary Loop and the natives are willing to go above and beyond to help visitors relax if they so desire. The bar itself (when it exists) is generally located beneath a structure in Sweet Apple Acres. Big Mac made it as something to do in the Loops and it became a hit. Berry Punch joined him in running it after learning the trade from Ryu Sasakura in a fused Loop where all ponies were able to shapeshift to human form.

* * *

(Crisis)

The superhero known as Setback, one of the unluckiest people in the multiverse by many definitions, smiled to himself as he looked over his latest attempt to make a casino. The construction had been fraught with difficulties again – such as repeated attacks by supervillains, a couple of natural disasters, zoning issues, a random sinkhole opening up, a union strike, a dozen contractors quitting the job, one spontaneous collapse of the unfinished structure, the wiring and the plumbing going to war with each other while the sewer system tried to secede from the building, an invasion of roaches from the Ick dimension, Setback losing the month's budget on a game of Go Fish, and a few other events that either delayed construction or forced it to be restarted from scratch – but he'd finally finished it.

The Setback Casino would be opening in just a few moments, right as he finished cutting the ceremonial ribbon. Setback took the giant scissors, ignoring the tense anticipation from many onlookers waiting for something to go wrong, and cut the ribbon without incident.

The sound of several dozen people sighing in relief was heard.

Followed a moment later by the sound of every slot machine in the building hitting the jackpot at once, followed shortly by a metallic rumbling sound as a tidal wave of quarters burst from the interior and rose up to engulf the screaming crowd.

* * *

 **Setback Casino**

Loop: Sentinels of the Multiverse

Proprietor: Setback (Anchor)

Notes: Due to Setback's ability to alter probability (completely involuntarily and not always in beneficial ways), his casino often has issues with wreaking havoc on probability and doing... strange things as a result.

* * *

(kingofsouls)

Tachyon ran through every hall of the Freedom Tower, a look of pure terror on her face. Her search was a frantic one, one that could not end in failure.

Three seconds later, she ended her journey through her base, ending at the main common room of the Tower. Her fellow Loopers looked at her expectantly. "Well?" An incredibly worried Unity looked at Tachyon with the most expectant look on her face. "Please tell me we have something, anything!?"

Tachyon shook her head. "We have no alcohol. Nothing! I searched the entire tower, but I found nothing! There isn't a single drop of booze in the tower! NOT A SINGLE DROP!"

A chorus of moans arose. "No alcohol? Great." Wraith moaned. She was on a couch, nursing a bad headache with an icepack.

"Really? Really?" snarked Absolute Zero in his corner of the room. "We live in a metropolis. Let's just go and buy some from the nearest cornerstore."

"You can do it. I'm staying here."

"Same here." Unity flopped in the chair next to the couch as she said that. "I doubt anyone wants to actually do anything not related to drinking."

"Tachyon has super speed, just have her go get them!"

"Oh no, I'm not doing it. I'm not up for it after running through the Tower five times." argued Tachyon. "We have way too many rooms, just a heads up."

"Well, someone has to go and get the booze." Legacy explained. "It's either that or no booze for anyone. I mean, it's not like someone is just going to walk through the door with alcohol for us to drink, right?"

The sound of a door opening alerted all to a new arrival, the yellow and black garbed Setback, a bottle of ale in his hands. "Hey guys." he cheerfully sang, waving to the Freedom Five and Unity. "How's it hanging?"

Legacy just gripped the face with a three finger facepalm as his stress levels started to skyrocket. "Not now Setback," Legacy moaned. "We are all not in the mood."

"Hey, tell me that after some hilariously improbable event happens due to my presence and not because I pushed the bright red button," came the reply.

"Try me."

"Fine," Setback scoffed as he opened his bottle and took a swig. "Let me guess: Rough loop?"

"Yea, and boy was it a horrible one." Wraith adjusted her icepack, her headache winning the struggle against the ice. "You don't want to hear about it."

"Oh, no. I wanna hear what happened if it got The Wraith all rilled up like that."

"You really wanna know?" Legacy snapped. "Baron Blade was a tree-hugging hippie who wanted to destroy the moon and replace it with a eco-friendly one with a freaking Peace sign plastered smack dab in the middle."

Setback was momentarily frozen in shock. "Wow...I'm actually a little sad that I can't top that. Stealth Anchor?"

"Does it matter?" Legacy shouted, turning around to face the Anchor. "There's no alcohol anywhere in the tower! I'm not a heavy drinker but there are some things that should never reach the light of where did you get that?"

Setback looked at his drink, which Legacy was eyeing intensely "Oh, this?" Setback shook the bottle gently. "Got it at Argent's Bar."

This came a shock to the six. Absolute Zero was the first to react, looking at Setback under his visor intently. "Wait. Argent has a bar?"

"Yea..." Setback answered cautiously. "You guys didn't know?"

"Apparently not." Legacy mumbled.

"I'll just take you there." Setback Pocketed his bottle as he prepared to leave. "Sounds like you guys really need something. Follow me."

A blur of movement beat him to the door, racing through the halls at the speed of light. "NOTIMETOARGUESETBACKLEADTHEWAYINEEDBOOZEANDINEEDITNOW!MOVEITPEOPLE!MOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEITMOVEIT!"

"...or we can follow Tachyon."

 _-Argent's Bar-_

"Argent, you're a lifesaver." Vance smiled as he took comfort in the sweet elixir that was his drink. The musical hero smiled as he looked over his bar. It was simplistic, having steel-reinforced tables, a dartboard, a very well stocked and wide selection of spirits and wines, and an upper landing for those who wanted to escape the noise below. The most important part was the booze, to which the Freedom Five was eagerly enjoying.

"No thanks are needed." Argent replied. "I understand that there somethings only alcohol can solve."

"Preaching to the choir there." Vance shook his head; images of the monster forever known as Hippie Blade assaulted his mind. In turn, he assaulted his mind with alcohol to even the scales.

"Let me guess." Argent asked with a knowing smile. "Hippie Blade."

Vance groaned in agreement. "You too?"

"Yea. That was before I got the idea to open up a bar."

"Hey I'm just glad you decided to open one. How long did it take for you to get everything?"

"Not long. I called a few of my old contacts before I entered the hero game."

"Old...contacts?"

"You do know that before I became the Virtuoso of the Void I was a bartender, right?" Argent grinned as Vance looked at him in surprise.

"If I say yes, can I get another drink?"

Argent laughed, as he refilled the drink. "I have to say, returning to bar keeping is a welcome change after all the insanity we usually go through in an average loop. It's relaxing."

There was an audible crash as Setback walked past the two with a trashcan covering him. "What about that?"

"Considering who we're talking about, it must be Tuesday."

"So, you got a name for this place?" Vance asked.

"Not yet," Argent sighed. "I'm trying a few ideas to see which one clicks."

"Oh, so that's why the name changed." Setback, releasing himself from the trashcan and sliding onto a stool, freed the ale he drank earlier and handed it to Argent to work his magic with. "Last Loop you opened it the place as called 'Virtuoso'. And before that it was 'The Bronze Drum'."

"Like I said, I haven't found one that clicks."

"I'm just hoping it's soon. It's gonna be hard to find the place if you change it's name all the time."

"I'll leave one of my instruments in the window if it helps identity, at least until I find a name for it."

"Sounds good to me." Setback grinned. He faced Vance, and asked. "So, about this Hippie Blade?"

Vance just shouted a curse as his head got to know the table a little better. "...Too soon?"

* * *

 **Argent Adept's Bar**

Loop: Sentinels of the Multiverse

Proprietor: Argent Adept (looper)

Notes: Argent Adept has so far changed the name of his bar every Loop.

* * *

(krspaceT)

"Protocol Droid: PUNCH!"

The most dramatic punch that C-3PO had ever delivered someone struck the Grand Moff in the face, knocking him to the ground in pain as the golden droid shuffled himself over to the controls of the most fearsome weapon in the galaxy, the Death Star.

Well, not really anyway. As it turned out, there were a lot of even more horrifying weapons out there. It was as if everyone in the past and the future knew of the Death Star and wanted to attempt to trump it, or do their own version of Luke, Wedge and Han's daring fighter strikes on it.

Yet the Death Star was easily the most iconic of all of them, and by far the easiest to obtain on a regular basis for the average looper.

Working the navigation controls, 3PO set the coordinates to somewhere where he could get help in removing all of the incapacitated Storm Troopers and Imperials. After all, you could not pocket organic life forms. ...Well, you _could_ , but it was generally considered bad form. And gross when they eventually expired.

Plus, who would want to keep Tarkin around in their pocket as a pet?

* * *

Ponyville, Equestria was known for panicking.

If the sky was red, they panicked.

If Discord was elected mayor, they panicked even if they voted for him.

If Pinkie Pie calmed down, they went beyond panicked.

So, as one might suspect, the moment the giant grey sphere of death appeared in the sky over Ponyville, the locals began to panic.

For the loopers however... it was probably just a matter of some concern.

"Didn't he already do this already?" Spike the dragon asked as he, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack gathered immediately below the Death Star, ready to knock back a death ray if necessary.

"I don't think this is Anakin, girls... The guy's a little more subtle," Applejack noted the lack of orchestrations or flier formations. Turning her head to Rarity, she narrowed her eyes. "You ain't got nothing else on order for him, do you?"

Rarity shook her head. "Goodness, no. I am actually ahead of all my special orders at the moment; I can finally work on some projects for curiosity's sake again. Like–"

"Master Anakin isn't available this loop. I'm actually here for my own reasons."

The gathered Equestrians turned sharply around to see the golden protocol droid. At the moment he was dressed as if he were a lawyer, with a fancy suit, a tie decorated in R2 units, and a briefcase.

Apparently he was here for business of some sort.

"Um, why are you dressed like a lawyer? Discord doesn't owe you money, does he?" Twilight wasn't sure if 3PO had learned Equestria's court system yet. A court drama loop was not what she wanted at the moment.

"Do I really look like a lawyer? Odd, I was going for entrepreneur," C-3PO said with some disappointment. "And to think I got this suit fitted and everything..." The droid managed to get back on track, though. "Oh, now where was I? Oh yes, I was hoping to enlist the help of Mistress Rarity, and perhaps Mistress Applebloom and a few others who have time to spare while I am here, to help me begin work on my dream."

"Your dream?" Rarity questioned, her curiosity rising. Perhaps this loop would not simply be one where she tinkered with Geass Boots.

"Oh yes, my dream." 3PO raised his unoccupied arm up and pressed a button on it. The arm began projecting a holographic image between the Equestrians and the droid – that of a center court area of what looked like a mall, with what looked like a fountain with a center statue of George Lucas spewing forth water inside it.

Thousands of numbers and letters were spinning off in the side: The Bar Floor, the Shopping Floor, the Arcade Floor, the Basketball Floor, the Quidditch Floor, the Turbo Duel Floor, the Pokemon Arena Floor and countless others.

"This is my project aimed at making something of my time in the Loops: I call it C-3PO's Entertainment Galactoplex, name subject to change. 21336 floors of entertainment, the best in the Multiverse and all staffed and maintained by re-purposed B1 battle droids. Everything that a looper could want I plan to provide, and I will accept all forms of currency. Credits, Berries, Wulongs, Poké..."

Twilight blinked in shock at what was probably going to be the Loops' biggest example of capitalism. "Well... I guess if you want to go in, you should go all in."

* * *

 **Galactoplex**

Loop: A Galaxy Far, Far Away (Star Wars)

Proprietor: C3PO (looper)

Notes: Essentially a repurposed Death Star, the Galactoplex is a moon-sized entertainment mecca stored in C3PO's subspace pocket to bring out when in Loops with lots of other loopers. Or when he feels like being a businessman. The place is staffed entirely by droids.

* * *

(Crisis)

Picard sighed in contentment as he entered the forward lounge on deck ten, better known across the ship as Ten Forward. It didn't matter how many stressful loops he'd had, how interfering some Federation bureaucracy or other was being, or what fresh insanity had decided to test him lately, this place always remained a sanctuary where one's troubles could be relaxed away. With good drink, good company, and at times surprising insight from the lounge's bartender: a nonlooper known as Guinan.

"Welcome, Captain," said woman greeted. "You're looking rather well-traveled today. Good of you to find the time to visit."

Picard smiled back, recognizing the inflections on certain words, much like many loopers used to feel each other out without being blatant about it in front of others. Guinan had never begun looping to his knowledge, but she, like Q, was a member of a special class of being that was aware that the Loops existed. A Loop Aware individual as was the accepted term. It was perhaps yet another of the very mysterious abilities her almost extinct race, the El-Aurians, possessed.

"Indeed I have, old friend. It is good to see you again."

Picard sat down as Guinan nodded in acceptance of the greeting and its hidden meaning and reflected on how she'd revealed to him that she knew of the Loops (before he himself had even found out that was what they were called). It had been back when he'd nearly had a mental breakdown from the stress of avoiding the notice of the Federation's temporal investigators, trying to keep Lwaxana Troi (or any other telepath for that matter) from discovering too much, and the frustration from the fact that no one else other than him, including Q for all his infuriating ways, seemed to remember beyond a single repeat.

 _"Captain,"_ she'd said, _"I know you've traveled back in time. No, I don't know how and I don't really care to speculate, but I can see that it's having an effect on you. You need to talk about it. Now. Not later. Not after you've decided which parts to keep from me. Now. All of it."_

So he had. He'd told Guinan everything he'd figured out so far. Every last bit that had been weighing on him, he unburdened to her. Including his reservations that she might reveal what he had told her to others.

 _"Captain,"_ Guinan had smiled in that way of hers that suggested she knew far more than anyone could ever guess, _"your secrets belong to you. Other people's secrets belong to them. They're not mine to tell."_

And she hadn't told. Not once in all the Loops, for all the times he'd come to avail himself of her ears and counsel, had she ever told another what she'd heard from him. Nor had she ever told him what she'd heard from another. And Picard knew that more than a few had unburdened themselves to Guinan like he had. The woman kept secrets well, and returned the trust with a wisdom uniquely hers.

"Credit for your thoughts, Captain?"

"Just thinking that if I traveled from one end of creation to the next I would never find a place quite like this or a friend quite like you."

Guinan simply smirked back at him in that calm knowing way of hers.

* * *

 **Ten Forward**

Loop: United Federation of Planets (Star Trek - Enterprise D)

Proprietor: Guinan (Loop Aware nonlooper)

Notes: The Trek Loopers are infamous Stealth Loopers and only a few have been proven to be looping to others outside their own inner circle. That said, they enjoy a drink as much as anyone else and they will hardly stop a looper from telling stories just because the story seems wildly improbable in-universe. Guinan herself is a good listener and doesn't judge others just because they talk about seemingly 'impossible' experiences.

* * *

(Crisis)

As usual, the Cardassians had trashed the space station that would later be known as Deep Space Nine before leaving. Even so, Quark smiled as he cleaned the debris from his bar and prepared for a new Loop. He'd felt a number of Pings early this loop, which meant the possibility of looping customers, which was always good for both profit and entertainment. Because after so many loops of learning how to make it so that they didn't need to worry about money, many loopers tended to lose sight over its value. Most, but not all. There were some really good hagglers out there, and Quarks always loved dealing with them. He supposed it was the same kind of thrill that the more combative loopers got when they found a strong opponent. In any case, so many would come to him with their esoteric and outlandish requests trying to catch him out as a looper, and he would stretch his knowledge and contacts to their limit pulling it off with just baseline resources and a hefty itemized list of expenses.

And of course, someone would inevitably ask the question. The question he'd meditated on his Unawake instincts long and hard for how best to respond to in a way that answered nothing at all while maximizing potential profit.

 _"Are you Awake?"_

 _"Well now... that's an interesting inflection on that word there, so I assume you don't mean to imply that I'm about to fall asleep on my feet. No... this sounds like an important question, which means there's only one thing I can say in response."_

 _"...Which is?"_

 _"What's it worth to you?"_

* * *

 **Quark's**

Loop: United Federation of Planets (Star Trek - Deep Space Nine station)

Proprietor: Quark ((stealth) looper)

Notes: The Trek Loopers are infamous Stealth Loopers and only a few have been proven to be looping to others outside their own inner circle. That said, they enjoy a drink as much as anyone else and they will hardly stop a looper from telling stories just because the story seems wildly improbable in-universe. As a ferengi, Quark rarely cares much about why someone wants a drink, only if their money is good.

* * *

(GarnettFoxy, Harry Leferts)

"And Hammond said you could do this?" Owen arched an eyebrow at the raptor measuring out everything.

Roxy nodded, humming. "For a test run – not like it matters much anyways, the loop's ending soon." She hopped over the counter, claws tapping as she logged into the computer. "I just want to use it to get a good idea of layout, might keep it for a while till I can manage to get one for my rex height made. Two thousand rooms, eh?... Might have to look into bigger on the inside tech, or..." She tapped a claw to her chin. "Something like Japan – tiny doors stacked on top of each other, leading into bigger-on-the-inside suites?"

"...You're serious about this." Owen blinked. "You're really serious about opening a looper hotel?"

"And in-house restaurant," Roxy added. "Oh, the Squads signed on to be my wait staff. I just have to do the baking for their coffee shop when they get that off the ground."

"...The heck?"

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "We need a hangout for loopers that isn't filled with people boozing it up or nonstop fighting. And sometimes people just want to relax and not worry for a while. A hotel does that."

"...What are you even going to be paid in?" Owen questioned, following the raptor out.

"Mostly it'll be a 'pay what you think the stay's worth' thing, I'm hoping mainly people pay in food from home loops so I can expand what I serve in the restaurant..." She frowned, turning to Owen. "...Is it possible to keep a farm in your subspace? I normally put everything in stasis but an all-organic farm... With every kind of animal..."

"...I'm done." Owen shook his head, walking off.

Roxy shrugged, touching the door of the Jurassic Park Hilton and Pocketing the building. She had work to do.

* * *

Roxy was walking through the lobby of her hotel when she stopped for a moment and blinked. 'Wait just a moment...' Slowly, she turned and stared at something she could swear had not been there before. "...Since when do I have a juice and smoothie bar here?" More than slightly suspicious, Roxy leaned in and blinked at the sight of a familiar long-necked dinosaur cleaning a glass as the Emperor of Mankind drank a smoothie from his seat on a stool. "Littlefoot? Since when do you have a juice and smoothie bar here?"

With a bright smile, Littlefoot looked up from his spot. "I've been here for a while..." An odd look came over his face. "Didn't you notice before?"

There was silence before Roxy looked around. "Er... no?" Walking in, the T-Rex took a seat and looked at the menu of juices and smoothies above the bar. "I see that someone has been busy."

All Littlefoot did was shrug his shoulders some. "Been to a number of places and started mixing juices... then mixed some herbs with the juices for various tastes. Moved onto smoothies, that sort of thing." He gestured across the lobby to where the Raptor Squad's coffee shop was. "They handle things like coffee and teas, I handle smoothies and juices. It works out pretty well between us. Especially as sometimes they need a little fruit to add to their own drinks."

Intrigued, Roxy looked over the menu before what looked like a rather busty blue-haired teen came in and sat down. After a moment, Roxy noticed the two bat wings and claws.

"Hey, Littlefoot."

The Long Neck nodded after a moment. "Your usual, Kurumu?" At her nod, he leaned back. "CERA! I NEED A MONSTER DURIAN RIGHT NOW FOR A ROSARIO SMOOTHIE!"

Now a little confused, Roxy blinked as she heard swearing from the back area. Then stared as she heard screaming from the back. "What in the name of..."

A moment later, Cera came rushing out with a strange, durian-like fruit... one that had a number of large, fanged mouths and long tongues and that was chomping down on her frill. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! OH STARS, IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY BRAINS! GAH! TENTACLES! NO, NO, NO! BAD! BAD EVIL TREESWEET!"

Sighing, Littlefoot grabbed it off his girlfriend as she rushed by and then, before it could react, began to chop it into pieces with a large cleaver he pulled from subspace. "It's not that hard to handle."

Her chest heaving from exertion, Cera got up into Littlefoot's face as he threw the still-wiggling chunks into a blender with some other ingredients. "Littlefoot... I am a _teenage girl dinosaur!_ That damn thing has _tentacles_ and a taste for _flesh!_ "

Littlefoot just raised an eyebrow as he turned the blender on. "Honestly? The plant itself is worse, not the fruit." Seeing the confusion on Roxy's face, Littlefoot shrugged. "Imagine a demonic animal-plant hybrid, resembling a pitcher plant, with jaws that a Megalodon would be envious of. It hides underground and uses the monster durians as lures for prey before it leaps from the soil and swallows the prey. Found out about it in my first Youkai Academy loop."

For several seconds, Roxy blinked and then slowly nodded. "I see..." She glanced at the menu again and raised a single claw as she watched Littlefoot pour the smoothie out into a cup and hand it to Kurumu. "I'll... have the Caribbean Juice Mix, I guess... not really in the mood for coffee..."

With a smile, Littlefoot nodded as he got to work. "Coming right up!"

* * *

Roxy, Ian, Grant, and Littlefoot were all watching a green-haired maid do some cleaning before the Long Neck turned to Roxy. "So? Is she hired?"

The tyrannosaur mused on the question for several moments before slowly nodding. "Sure, she's managed to keep the rooms even cleaner than I ever thought possible. I swear that you could eat off the floors, walls, and ceiling, they're so clean."

Grunting, Ian crossed his arms. "There's something creepy about that..."

However, Littlefoot ignored that as he waved towards the maid. "Tekeli-chan! Roxy says that you're hired!"

Excited, the maid let out a squeal that for some odd reason caused a shudder to run through all their bodies. Shaking it off, Roxy turned to Littlefoot. "So, you met her in a loop then?"

The smaller dinosaur nodded. "Yeah, we became great friends that loop and she gave me a piece of herself to help keep my Subspace Pocket clean."

All of the other three paused at that and turned to ask him what he meant when Grant pointed toward Tekeli. "Did... she just turn her hair into green slime arms?"

Looking, Roxy blinked as the maid used the arms that had been her hair, now composed of slime, to lift several cleaning implements. "Yes..." Then they watched as part of her back bulged until it fell off with a wet splat. It shuddered for a moment – which for some reason hurt their eyes – before it suddenly turned into a mini-version of Tekeli and ran off to clean another part of the room. "...I... that... what?"

Smirking, Littlefoot looked at Ian. "Well... she's kind of the ultimate version of your whole 'life finds a way' stuff, as well as the original version." He then began to walk away. "After all, she's a shoggoth that has taken on a human form."

For several moments, the others stood there before Roxy cleared her throat and gave a slightly nervous grin. "Er... at least she'll be near-impossible for the other loopers to knock around, unlike some other maids?"

After a moment, Ian threw his hands up into the air and walked off. "That's it, I'm seeing if the bar has enough of anything to black this out of my head..."

Meanwhile, Tekeli hummed snitches of songs that scratched at people's minds as she worked...

* * *

"Ready?" Charlie barked happily, sipping a steaming cup of jasmine tea. She and Delta were dressed in rather stylish feminine kimonos. Echo and Blue, in more modern barista outfits, gave her a thumbs up.

"We're ready, sis." Blue grinned.

Roxanne laughed softly, tail wagging. She quickly rushed over to the juice bar.

Littlefoot waved his foot. "Hey, Rox, we're ready and waiting."

If the Rex has been less dignified, she'd squeal with happiness as she dashed to the restaurant. "Chica?"

The chicken animation peeked out of the kitchen of Valhalla and gave an affirmative.

Almost ready to dance with joy, Roxanne ran back to the lobby and quickly shifted to human form, taking a moment to straighten her clothes and check her hair. She took a breath and smiled, opening the door and bowing to the gathered group of waiting Loopers.

"May I formally announce that the Mobius Inn, Valhalla Bar and Grill, Triassic Tea and Coffee, Nexus Plaza and Jurassic Juice and Smoothie is now officially open." She grinned fangs flashing. "Now who'd like to check in?"

* * *

 **Mobius Inn**

Loop: Jurassic Park, Five Nights at Freddy's, The Land Before Time

Proprietors: Roxanne (T-Rex looper - Jurassic Park), Chica (looper - Five Nights at Freddy's), Littlefoot (Anchor - Land Before Time), Cera (looper - Land Before Time), Raptor Squad (loopers - Jurassic Park)

Notes: Much more than just a bar, this inn was set up by the multiverse's dinosaur loopers as a place for other loopers to stay and relax.

Places of Note Inside:

Nexus Plaza - Lots of different stuff jammed together

Valhalla Bar and Grill - run by Roxanne and Chica

Triassic Tea and Coffee - run by the Raptor Squad

Jurassic Juice and Smoothie bar - run by the Land Before Time loopers

* * *

(Purrs)

Bernie the bartender was absentmindedly wiping down glasses when his employer strode in. He straightened and set himself to his task more fervently. Why had his boss come? The man normally kept to himself. He hadn't done something wrong, had he? Oh Lord, please don't let him be fired...

"We have Visiting Loopers again," Mr. Y said - Bernie could practically hear the capital letters - then caught himself. "Oh, right, you don't remember last time. Shame. Well, the multiverse is broken, time is Looping, some people remember it, sometimes people move around, et cetera, et cetera, and those people want drinks. Do you think you can handle that?"

He was completely out of his depth, but this was his boss. "Sure," he agreed.

The man before him plucked a booklet from thin air and tossed it to him. "Wonderful. Look that over - it should help. Expect to see people and things blatantly supernatural or at a level of technology so much higher than ours they might as well be. I'll be stocking some drinks you won't recognize, but as long as you read the warning labels you'll be fine. Of course, you'll be given a significant pay raise to compensate for all this - picture your monthly pay on a daily basis. Thank you for cooperating." He nodded to Bernie and exited the bar.

A few minutes later, Mr. Y returned, accompanied by others. The first to follow him in was decidedly not human.

Bernie stared at the papers in his hand. What had he gotten himself into? Well, at least the money would make up for it.

* * *

 **Suicide Hall**

Loop: Phantom of the Opera

Proprietor: Erik (aka Mr. Y, aka The Phantom - Anchor)

Notes: Suicide Hall doesn't in itself have much other than the bar - it's just one part of Phantasma, an amusement-park-sized, well, amusement park. More or less. Features include but are not limited to: a concert hall, strip tease/vaudeville dancers, ballrooms, a casino, a Roman colosseum, a freak show, an artificial volcano which erupts daily, and whatever the heck Erik feels like putting in. Usually tended by a (rather flummoxed) nonlooper named Bernie.

* * *

(Detective Ethan Redfield)

Tokiomi was sure of his victory in the Grail War. He had the strongest servant, and the best partner/apprentice a man could have. He handed a large dagger to Kirei, with a smooth sphere encrusted on the hilt. It was tradition to hand such a dagger, named Azoth Dagger or Azoth Sword, to an apprentice upon completion of his or her training. With the small ceremony done, Tokiomi turned to escort Kirei to the exit. He would leave Japan shortly as his role in the war was complete.

Unfortunately, the instant he turned his back to Kirei, he felt a sharp agony as the Azoth blade found its way between two of his vertebrae. Kirei smirked, "I never really was on your side."

Kirei's appearance shifted, turning into a red suited man with a crimson ski mask. He withdrew the dagger and slid it into the interior of his suit, "Oh dear, I made quite a mess."

* * *

(Countless loops later)

Shirou rubbed his head as he sat at a table in Eden Hall. Currently, he was waiting for his job interview as chef for the new expansion to go through, and he listened to tales from other loopers in the Nasuverse. When Spy said he and Kiritsugu went way back, he hadn't thought he meant that Spy was Kiritsugu's summon. He thought he meant Spy replaced Maiya one time. The boy looked at the assassin, who currently was checking a pocket watch while smoking, "You might want to never share that story with Rin."

* * *

The pleasant aroma of Soba Noodles drifted through Eden Hall. "Shirouuu, when are we going to eat!" A familiar brown-haired woman wearing a yellow and black t shirt under a green dress rested her head against the counter.

Shirou gave a long suffering sigh and scooped a bowl out for her erstwhile sister. "Fujimara-sensei, shouldn't you be at class right now?"

As soon as the bowl hit the counter, the "tiger" of Homurahara attacked it with the intensity of her nickname. Even through the gulps, Shirou could still make out what she was saying. "You should be attending school, like all the other boys your age. And then, maybe, you'll find the woman of your dreams."

Shirou shrugged. "I've already tested out of high school and college. I prefer the simple life sometimes."

Besides, he had found the girl of his dreams...many times. He still couldn't decide between Saber, Rin, and Sakura. He just wanted to make them all happy, but sparks were constantly flying between the three of them. He'd be lucky to survive the Loops at this rate.

Taiga gulped down the last of her soup. After finishing her meal, her brain finally registered her predicament. "Oh crap, I'm late!"

Immediately, the teacher was off, screaming about how late she was. With Taiga gone, the restaurant was already too quiet. Ryuu stepped out from behind the counter and walked over to Shirou, "You have quite a lively companion."

Shirou gave a rueful grin. "She's like a sister to me, always worrying about my well being. She's not even Looping."

Ryuu patted the teen on the back. "Takes a special person to worry about those stronger than her. I think she can tell something's off, even before you started working here. You should tell her about the time loops. I feel it won't be long before she'll join us."

Shirou's eyes turned serious. "Yeah. She'll probably replace Naruto one loop and become a epic ninja."

The door opened, issuing forth a new customer. Shirou blanched as he recognized Rin, and a black aura was hovering around the magician. "Shirou... have you been spreading rumors about me to the other loopers?"

Shirou blinked and flinched backwards. "Ah, what rumors are these?"

A second Rin appeared, wearing a similar holy shroud to baseline Archer. One hundred crystals appeared around the mage, each one shimmering brilliantly like it was a firecracker about to blow. Undoubtedly, this was a servant Rin, Mikasa glitch, probably archer class. Servant Rin replied with a deceptively sweet grin, "Oh, just a legend that says I wield a thousand gemstones that shimmer with enough magic to level a city. Her 'wrath' is easily kindled by the slightest provocations."

Shirou recalled telling a couple new loopers about her as a joke, though he might have failed to tell them it was a joke. He muttered under his breath. "I didn't know they'd take it so seriously."

Unfortunately, Rin heard every word. Her head turned to Ryuu. "Master, I need to borrow your chef for a minute. Let's step outside, Shirou."

Ryuu chuckled. "Make sure I get him back in one piece. And don't damage the bar outside, got it?"

Rin nodded. Shirou ran, but didn't get far as several rapid fire gandr shots slammed into his back. The Rins carried him into the alley out back as Ryuu gave a silent prayer for the doomed boy.

* * *

 **Emiya Residence**

Loop of Origin: Nasuverse

Proprietor: Shirou Emiya (Anchor)

Notes: Shirou worked under Ryu Sasakura and often opens an attached restaurant to the bar during their fused loops. However, he is willing to cook for most anyone who loops into the Nasuverse if they visit his home.

* * *

(Detective Ethan Redfield)

Bao had a feeling something was off. He was seeing people in his bar that he was fairly sure had died when that crazy latino came in and shot up his bar. His concern only grew as the Lagoon company stepped through those doors with the Garcia Heir in tow. He gulped and waved them over. "Revy, I didn't want to ever see that Colombian in my bar ever again. Whenever he's around, his crazy maids aren't too far away."

Revy, Dutch and Rock gave each other a look. Dutch was first as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Oh? I think we have someone new joining our private hellhole in the universe."

Rock rubbed his head. "Omniverse, Dutch."

The African-American pulled out his bud and gave a huff. "Don't care. How long until she shows up?"

Revy gave a nasty smirk, "Right about... now."

Bao's eyes went wide as he ducked behind the counter _,_ cursing while reaching for the phone. He dialed Balalaika, only for Rock to slide behind the counter and put his hand on the hangup button. "Balalaika can't help, Bao. When the shooting starts, follow me."

Bao's eye twitched. "That b**** is gonna shoot up my bar again?! Damn it!"

The bartender reached for his shotgun, only to be stopped when Rock kicked the gun across the floor. The former Japanese businessman shook his head. "That never ends well. Get out the back door first chance you see."

A second later, several shotgun blasts rang out from Roberta's umbrella, and the Lagoon company raced out the door with Bao in tow. Minutes later, the Yellowflag bar went up in smoke, the first of an infinite number of times the poor bar would be destroyed under Bao's watch.

* * *

 **YellowFlag Bar**

Loop of Origin: Black Lagoon

Proprietor: Bao (looper)

Notes: Bao's bar is typically destroyed at least once before a loop ends due to brawls.

* * *

(Half_Baked_Cat)

"And this is my local bar," Harry Dresden said, leading a much shorter man and fellow wizard down the stairs into a little hole in the wall bar. For someone over seven feet tall, most people tend to be shorter.

"And what is so special about this bar?" Harry Potter asked the taller wizard before stepping into the establishment and feeling the shedding of magical static on him. "Never mind. I feel it now."

"Mac also has some damn fine steak sandwiches and brews the beer himself," Dresden said, ordering two sandwiches and beers for the pair before grabbing a table in the corner. "He doesn't say much, but he has been good to talk with about my problems. A classic and stand up bartender. Anyways, that is most of the interesting things about Chicago. What do you think?"

Potter gave a smirk. "I can see why you are so protective of the place. It does seem pretty homey here, but I wouldn't trade Hogwarts for it. At least, not permanently."

* * *

 **Mac's**

Loop of Origin: Dresdenverse

Proprietor: Mac (nonlooper. Or possible stealth looper. He does not talk much)

Notes: Has microbrew beer and steak sandwiches that Mac makes himself. Beer is served warm because that is how that style of beer is suppose to be served. Steak sandwiches are very good. Completely different Mac from Big Mac. Usually just grunts in reply. Bar is fairly small, has thirteen tables spread out randomly, thirteen fans also randomly spread out, a short ceiling height, thirteen bar stools at the bar, several carved pillars, and causes magic residue on a person to dissipate due to the setup. The bar has a mild grounding effect on magic that generally helps calm down magic users who are stressed or upset. The beer and steak sandwiches also help a lot of magic users further relax.

* * *

(Awesomedude17)

Gordon Freeman, The Postal Dude, Rick Sanchez, and The Nostalgia Critic looked down at the staircase and then looked at each other.

"After you?" The Critic said.

"Why not?" Gordon replied as the other three began walking down the stairs.

"Wonder how the drinks are," Rick muttered out loud.

"Probably good." The Dude shrugged, opening a secret doorway into the main area.

The man in a robe turned to the four and smiled. "Ahh, new guests! Welcome to... THE INVENTORY!"

"Why thank you, good sir!" The Critic said.

"Indeed. My name is Reginald Van Winslow, your host for tonight, and a Looper. I suppose you've all come for a game of high-stakes poker?" Winslow led the four to the poker table.

"Yep. What's the buy-in?"

"Ah, yes. The buy-in. Tonight's buy-in shall be $20,000."

"Any reason why's that so high?" Rick questioned, tossing out a brick of hundreds with the others.

"It's mainly to attract a higher level crowd, admittedly."

"Makes sense."

"So, shall we get this bitch started?" Gordon asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Right. Gentleman, I leave you with the dealer, GLaDOS!"

"Hello, gentlemen. I'll be the first to say that there will be three men here $20,000 poorer, and four men that'll die eventually. Math and probability are fun, aren't they?" GLaDOS said. "Tonight's game shall be Texas Hold'em Poker. Let us begin."

"Heh, I like her already," Rick said.

"Speak for yourself. Didn't you mess with her in an earlier loop?" Gordon asked.

"I don't remember. I might have been drunk."

"Stop pissing, start playing," The Dude spat out.

The cards were dealt.

* * *

Omake for Welcome to The Inventory:

(Awesomedude17)

* * *

 _Gordon Busts Out_

"Gordon Freeman has been eliminated from the table." GLaDOS exclaimed.

"What! But I'm awesome!"

"Unfortunately, awesomeness does not compensate for poor luck, Mr. Freeman. Leave the table before I induce a localized variant of the Resonance Cascade."

"Okay then, bitch." Gordon rose and stomped off.

* * *

 _The Critic Busts Out_

"The Nostalgia Critic has stupidly lost all of his money, and must leave in humiliation," GLaDOS mocked.

"Aw crap, that was next season's budget! The viewers are going to kill me." The Critic slowly moved away from the table.

* * *

 _The Postal Dude Busts Out_

"The Dude has been eliminated from the tournament."

"Eh, it wasn't my money anyway."

The Dude's phone rang.

"Hello?"

 _"Hey Dude, where the fuck's our money?"_

"Lost it in a poker game."

 _"Oh ho, how rich. You're fired!"_

The Dude hung up and left the table.

* * *

 _Rick Busts Out_

"Rick Sanchez has been eliminated."

"Oh well. I-I-I sup-uuuose I can go to Blips and Chits on another day. I'll... I'll be at the bar." Rick left.

* * *

 **The Inventory**

Loop of Origin: Unknown

Proprietor: Unknown

Notes: THE premiere Video Game bar, not much is known about where it came from, who owns it, or why it's still a secret, since in most Loops it exists in it's been around since the prohibition era, and prohibition was over since the early 30's. What is known is that it's a popular hangout for characters of all kinds to drink and play poker.

* * *

Compiler's Notes) Expect heavy amounts of wackiness to come in this compilation of the Infinite Loops. From here on in, I'll try and help clue you in on who is who since, like me, I doubt you will all get every reference being made in these things.


End file.
